Friday, 29 May 2009

Hotel Salou Park - Spain

Incredible structures by Gaudi, the Nou Camp, fantastic museums, I could go on and on...except this is all in Barcelona, 60 miles from the hell that is Salou.  Of all the holes in Salou this appears to be the worst value for money, quite a claim.  A four star hotel which has been given a rating of 3.18 by the travellers and quite a bashing in the reviews, this gives a score of -0.82.

"Myself, my husband and my three kids aged 4, 2 and 1 stayed at this horrific hotel last month and i still havent got over how bad it was. First of all one of our cases went missing and this was the start of bad things to come. On checking in we were told that we only had a basement room with no balcony and we requested one on booking this hotel beware of this!! We were then told that we would have to pay £150 to upgrade to a balcony room and when i enquired if a cot had been put in the room she told me it would be £60 to hire a cot out. We were £210 down before we even went to our accommodation!! Its not as though this is even a cheap hotel. It rates itself as a four star but i would rate it maybe two. The rooms are cramped and tiny and not at all child friendly, there was glass on top of the bedside cabinets that my kids kept pulling off, my kids were constantly hurting themselves because of the lack of space in the room and the beds themselves were camp beds!! The food ( we went half board) was absolutely disgusting and myself and my husband both had diarrohea and vomiting for two days at one point, i witnessed completely uncooked chicken for kids meals!! the pool is small and cramped, no sunbeds are left every morning as the towels go on at about 5.00 am and then people bog off all day and return to the pool late afternoon which nothing was ever done about, to cap it all off the entertainment is very loud and our kids could not sleep until at least midnight each night which was hell for us and the icing on the cake was my baby girl who is 12 months old got sick the last three days there and when i got her home i took her to hospital as the diarroeha was so bad and they confirmed it was salmonella!!! Dont go here if you want a really bad holiday, the only thing thats good about it is the location which is right next to the beach and nightlife. THE WORST HOLIDAY IN MY ENTIRE LIFE !!!! BEWARE"

"We arrived at the hotel to the sound of agga do do do, this said it all really. We went as a family of four, we had a small room with 4 beds stuck together, it was awful! Tiny balcony over looking a tiny pool for the size of the hotel. All staff were very very very unfriendly, especially the resturant staff who never smiled at all.salou is for people who want to stay out all night and party ,it is not for families who want a fun happy relaxed holiday. One good thing was the maids kept the rooms very clean and worked hard. ONE THING FOR SURE WE WILL NEVER RETURN TO SALOU AGAIN !!"

"Just back from Salou and this hotel is the worst Ive ever had the discomfort to stay in. My husband and I had booked the hotel next door, the playa margarita but when we arrived were told we had been put in the hotel next door and on seeing 4 stars on the wall were fairly pleased at the apparent upgrade as the one we booked was a 3 star! When we got to our room it was obvious this was no 4 star hotel, we had booked a double room but instead got 2 single beds pushed together, the beds were rock hard and the pillows were flat. The hotel was spotless but the decor was very old and the facilities were minimal. You had to leave a deposit of 5 euro to get a remote for the tv, the air conditioning didnt work, you had to pay also to use the safe and fridge. When I complained about the room I was met with hostility, the reception staff are rude and unhelpful. The room was clean and I never like the idea of strangers touching my things so I put the 'do not disturb' sign on the door to stop the cleaners coming in to the room, but they came in anyway. When I complained about this the twit at reception telephoned the cleaner and told her I complained that the room was not cleaned properley so the next thing I know there is an angry cleaner at the door screaming at me for saying she hadnt cleaned the room. I tried to tell her not to clean the room but she didnt listen and ignored the sign again the next day!! The food was ok, nothing to get excited about."

"Room was small pokey, cold, dank and smelled of cigarettes, sound insulation was non existent. Which is a problem when the kitchen staff begin at 7am and decide to empty bottle banks at 1am. people running and screaming up and down the corridors at all times.

Dull, uninterested staff, poor food but hey the location of the hotel isn't too bad. You even have to leave a deposit for the TV remote!"

"this place is actually just terrible!! wouldnt pay ten euro for a night.... firstly we went with another couple my self and my boyfriend and my friend and her boyfriend. we picked the salou park as it said 4stars and the pictures looked nice. when we arrived the receptionist was just disgusting how rude she was her name was samantha and she was horrible. we had booked two rooms but because we didnt recieve our confirmation from alpha rooms she only gave us one room even though we had proof we payed for two. she actually couldnt of been more rude and shouted at us when we asked NICELY was it not two rooms and we were only given one key between four of us. the room was horrible balcony so dangerous, we were given the room over looking a construction site, and we had payed extra on web for sea view. the toilet kept leaking and they didnt care!!we arent even fussy i dont usually pick four stars just the basic. there was no fridge, staff very unfriendly. oh forgot although cleaners came everyday the sheets had make up and poo stains on them no joke, and ear wax on one of the blankets, had to pay for tv, it looks decent when you walk in but my god it is not! also your not allowed lock back doors for security reasons!!How stupid! "

"I dont usually write reviews but i felt i had to with this place!
receptioists really rude, not one nice receptionist in the place, staff unpleasant.
air con loud doesnt exactly work, no fridge, room like a hostel!! i was so upset staying here. i stayed with my two friends for a break but it was no break!!rooms freezing and it was warm there, strange?
we could not lock back door which made myself worry as we were on a low enough level, pool freezing and dirty!!like a bath! breakfast in the all in clusive was a disgrace!

no nice bar food, not even a baguette on the menu with an egg or bacon! this place really horriefied me! i wont be back.
Was thrilled when i checked out, also sheets not the cleanest and blankets very old! how they are a 4 star hotel is beyond me.Dont go here people, you will be disapppointed..."

"I would not stay in this hotel again and would question how its 4 star ratting was awarded. At the side of the hotel swimming pool is the hotels name and only 3 stars. I am not sure if this was an old rating or a disgruntled guest removing a star. A warning the hotel is clearly aimed at other languages than English, this ranges from entertainment to information. The hotel boasts about its sea view but you need to pay extra above the standard charges to get that view (extra charges are a big thing at this hotel), even when they have empty sea view rooms. The reality is there were many 3 star hotels in the area I would have preferred to stay at."

"First let me say, what a shame.
Having perviously visited this hotel in 2005 & 2006 and now for the 3rd year (2007) i will NOT be returning back.. what a shame..

Firstly, the food is usually delicious and of good quality and good choice. Thats changed, it has now been very repetitive and quite disgusting. One night i even suffered a very bad upset stomach etc due to the food there!

Secondly, this year, in most of the rooms the air conditioning did NOT work.. leading to many warm stuffy nights. This then caused us to open the balcony doors therefore getting little sleep due to early hours of the morning spanish residents running around drunk around the streets shouting and screaming..

Thirdly, people (i know this is not down to the hotel) are a lot more rude and inconsiderate this year. You would be sunbathing and go into the bar to buy a drink or nip upto your room and steal various things, from your sun loungers and umbrellas to your inflatable pool toys. How petty?

Fourthly, when we arrived we got told at reception that we were quoted a wrong price for our room, and were charged an additional 500 euros on top of the said amount. Leaving us very short of spending money and gobsmacked!!

Salou in general this year is a dump. The streets are full of overspilling sweage and bad smells around the whole area of salou. The streets are crawling with druggies and places such as cafes, bars and nightclubs are dead, with very few people in them. It used to be a lovely family place that i spoke very highly of, (as previously writing a review supporting it!!) but i am very dissapointed. For the quality of the area, beaches, hotel etc, i would expect this to be a cheap holiday. However with standards dropping and the price remaining fairly expensive (even for drinks in and out the hotel, with it being 6.10euros for a malibu & pineapple or a rum & pineapple.... UNBELIEVEABLE) i definately next year will be searching for a better deal!!

Very dissapointed this year.. what a shame."

"We booked this hotel and the transfers from teletext, through Travel Gems, our stay was for 7 days starting 21/06/2005, we paid £299 per person + £30 transfers.
We got off to a bad start as on arrival at the airport there was no rep or transport for us, however we managed to get to the hotel thanks to a great deal of help from a Thopmpon rep( he gets 5 stars).
The room with a balcony that we booked turned into a ground floor room (no balcony) overlooking the bin area with no chance of a change as it was fully booked.
The air con was not working fully and despite complaints over the week was still not working when we left.
The restaurant was small and on an evening guests were made to form a line outside awaiting a table. The food was bland and the same choices were repeated every day.
The pool and bathing area is very small with all of the sun loungers having peices missing or cracks.
The entertainment on the evenings may have been worth watching if one could get a seat away from the spanish people who walked in from the street to watch their friends/relatives perform. 
On the last day however a very large group of new guests arrived ( all Spanish), the staff then brought out all new sun loungers.
The food in the restuarant all of a sudden became very tasty with a great deal of choice.
I'm afraid this hotel appears to me to cater for the spanish guests ahead of the others.
The transport back to the airport did not show again and after repeatedly trying to contact Travel Gems we had to pay for a taxi."

I'm starting to think that -0.82 is quite a good score for this hotel, perhaps it will be lower by the end of this summer.  If you want to see the reviews for yourself then go here.

Albion Hotel - Prague

Soviets hey, i bet when Gorbachev coined the word glasnost he wasn't thinking of the Albion Hotel's exposure to the transparency of the internet.  According to the reviewers soviet seems to be the word of the moment when describing this wonderful little gem of concrete.  It is a four star hotel with just a 2.40 rating from it's visitors.  That's a massive -1.60 score from worsthotels.

"We went to the Albion expecting a 4 star hotel, however when we saw the state of our room it was apparent it was more of a 1 - 2 star hotel. The rooms were tiny and unclean, the bathrooms were shabby and dirty, The towels were small and frayed at the edges. The service we received on arrival was not very good, the staff seemed annoyed that we were there and they actually had to do some work. Most of the facilities were closed so we could not go into the bar for a drink after driving 12 hours to get there. The Restaurant was open at 6pm and we were the only ones there so the food that was prepared for us was rushed and a little undercooked. For the price of the food we expected much better. The breakfast was very disapointing, there were little bugs over all of the food and the fruit was used over a few days and it had become hard and stale. We would not recommend this hotel for anyone to visit. Find someplace else!!!!! The location is too far away from the city and unless you have a car and know your way around you will not get to see much of Prague. Overall it was one of the worst places we have stayed in Europe."

"The Albion Hotel is one of the worst hotels in the world...! It is located too far away from the town of Prague, the staff is terrible. I couldn't communicate with them in English, so I had to speak Russian to the security man, because the guys from the reception new only czech language!!! Unbelievable!!! 
The room was in a mess and it smelled, also the bathroom was too small!!!! You couldn't drawn a mouse in it....! 
The food was horrible, you couldn't even taste it....!
DO NOT GO TO THIS HOTEL FOR ANY REASON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"The food was terrible,the rooms were dirty.Bring your own towels and sheets, shampoo, conditioner toothpaste etc, you get the picture :(....The service was of the worst kind,no value for money..Finally don't go!!!!!!!!!!A youth hostel will be better...THANKS"

"we left our room at 6.30pm and returned at 11pm. within this short space of time our room had been broken in to! we had our mobile phones taken. there was no sign of any forced entry leading us to assume that someone must have had a key card to get in to our room. we went to reception and the staff were extremely helpful. they checked to see who had entered our room but stated that we were the only people to have entered. the came to the conclusion that we must have left our room door wide open! i find this hard to believe! the doors had sprung hinges and made an almighty banging sound when it closed, we tried several times to leave it open! we had no success!

we were told to go see the manager the next morning! we did just that but the manger was not around, he/she would be arriving at between 10.30 -11am and then leaving at 3pm. very convinient to not have to deal with tourists and their problems. we decided to just leave it at that, we had only 1 full day left and didnt want to hang around in our hotel.... what could they have done?

i would advise anyone staying at the Albion to take all of their personal possessions with them. but if your taking them with you make sure they are safe, signposts everywhere warning you about pickpockets.

another point to mention is the noise that usually starts at around 3am, we had a stag party playing football in the corridor, i phoned reception to complain..... eventually the noise stopped around 5am."

"Have just arrived back from our 3 night stay at this hotel and just to say how poor it's standards are. We booked a double room and were given a twin, the hotel has more of a hostel feel and look to it. Breakfast was really awful with hardly anything to eat ..and this is at 8.00 am!!!. The room was very basic, Ok it is clean and that's the only positive of this Hotel. It is definately not of the 4 star standard that it claims to be. The location is quite a distance from Prague City and the Taxi's quite expensive so again not suitable. I feel we have been totally ripped off and next time will stay in the centre where much better hotels are and more reasonably priced. When we complained the staff just shrugged thier shoulders and didn't want to know. I am not a complainer at all, however when you work hard to earn your money and so look forward to your breaks then you expect some standards. So if you don't want to go hungry or be greeted by sullen looking staff, have a good location, Oh! and a good nights sleep on a decent bed then avoid this hotel. Prague however is really lovely well worth a short break there.. We will go back as so much to see and do although we WILL NOT BE BACK AT THE ALBION..."

"This hotel is situated 30 mins. drive by coach from Prague City Centre. Looks like an office block and sounds like a student union hostel - very noisy. People singing and dancing outside at 3 a.m. Interior, although clean, abounds with noise. Food reminiscent of a works canteen. Poorly located, minimal amenities, nothing to do in the evenings. Lobby has insufficient seating (approx. seating for 40, while hotel caters for nearly 600 guests). No proper lounge area. On a plus side, staff helpful and spoke excellent English. Would only recommend this 'hotel' for students/backpackers."

"well....what can i say..if your goin prague this hotel isnt the place to stay..first things first it aint a 4* hotel its a 2* hotel...and on there website where is sayes its 8 mins for central..that means it 8 mins on the bus 8 mins on the trains and thats not including the waiting at so in total your lookin bout 20 - 30 mins travel to the central.....the service was soooo poor the staff were sooooo unfriendly and security was really bad, as i had items stolen from my room by the cleaners and noting could be done (dont ask why the hotel ppl have a policy, which is noting shud be kept in the room valuable which means your watch when you go for breakfast and the cleaners clean and steal your items...all in all the trip to prague was terrible due to that hotel stay...i defi dont recommend this hotel to anyone..oh yeah forgot to meantion and breakfast was unbelievably terrible as pure orange had water added and the milk was off...."

"I had absolutely no idea how the hotel would be like before I actually arrived. To be honest, I was kind of excited, because the travel agent told us that it is a four star hotel, and the lobby was kind of fancy. However, I got a complete disillusion the second that I open the door of my room, it was all really crowded, and there's no fridge in the room. The day of our arrival was sort of hot, and we just thought that since there's this panel-like thing on the wall, it's air-conditioned, but it's not. And when we went to the reception to check out what had happened to our airconditioner, the receptionist said that it was purely for the purpose of "Decoration" !!! Classic isn't it?
And also, the breakfast was not four star at all!
They even mix a lot of water with juice! And they served sausages with skin that taste like plastic.
The receptionists were fine, but the cleaners, the waiters and waitresses were really cold. They just do there jobs, and it just seemed impossible for them to simply give us a smile back.
Though the price was cheaper, the service was just far from satisfaction."

If you want to stay there to remember the good old days of the cold war then check it out here.

Hotel Boa Vista - Portugal

An airy, seaside resort hotel with multilingual staff, restaurant and bar sits overlooking the bay of Albufeira; at least that's the blurb for this four-star hotel.  What exactly is airy?  Perhaps the reviewers can tell us.  They give the hotel a lowly 2.89 stars in their reviews giving it a worsthotels score of -1.11.  Airy.

"or a four star hotel, we expected more. The beds were of poor quality. The toilet, radio, and phone in the room did not work. The chairs were missing from our balcony. And when we expressed our dissatisfaction, they didn't have the slightest interest in making it up to us! Not recommended."

"I don't think my room or the bathroom had been redecorated since the hotel opened. Peeling and cracked paint on walls, black mould on the joints to the bathroom walls, rusting trim to the bath surround. etc. 
Definately not recommended unless you want a one star hotel."

"Arrival Day 1, 2pm (check in time on email) after 5 hour drive from Malaga.
Q. "Is our room ready?"
A. "No"
Q. "When will it be ready?"
A. "Don't know we are very busy. It's change over day and there are lot's of rooms to do. Maybe half an hour".
3pm Q. "Is our room ready?".
A. "No, the washing machine has broken down, maybe half an hour."
half hour later Q. "Is our room ready?"
A. "NO, it's busier than normal. We can find a room for you to put your bags in, but it won't be ready. Come back in half an hour."
5pm - Yippeeee! Room ready.

Day 2 - return from lunch 3:30pm, go to room for lie down. Room not done.
Q. "Our room is not ready. When will it be ready?".
A. from manager. "I don't know. 4pm, 5pm 6pm. It's a change over day (again), we give preference to the new arrivals. You would not want to arrive and find you room not ready."
Q. "We did yesterday. I want my room done and I want it done now please."
A. "I am clean, I am clean. I do not control the world. I will get the room made now". Throws pen down on the counter, barks at a poor unfortunate maid who just happened to be passing. Room eventually done at 4:30pm.

List of other excuses
- The internet does not work because we do not have a line for it yet.

- We do not know why your room phone does not work. Why were you using it? Oh! To phone reception. I will send someone to look at it. (Never fixed).

In short, the most unfriendly staff we have ever had to deal with.

Add to that the hotel was nothing like presented in the pictures or brochure and you have a thoroughly average experience.

A previous reviewer was right about the music except all we ever heard was Cliff Richards, no Tom Jones.

If I had asked, they probably would have had an excuse for that too."

"Very bad experience :
The 2nd day of our stay our Car Navigation System was stolen in our locked room. After this theft our suspected person had 2 days off (till we checked out !) and the unable manager of this hotel promised to infrom us after interrogation of the suspected. He never took contact with us again, although we left our contact identity. Sorry, but it's really impossible to put "all the luggage" in a safe and there is no insurance for stolen materials. Really unreliable staff and negligence hotel-management !"

"Extremely disappointed by this hotel. 

Needing a well deserved rest i decided to book a week in Albufeira for my wife and I.
After seeing pictures of the rooms and facilites on the hotel website i decided to book a week in the Belver Boa Vista (couldn't find any reviews on "Belver Boa Vista" on trip advisor so decided just to go ahead with the booking). Upon arrival there were skips dotted around the hotel and guys throwing rubble from the roof. The Recpetion area looked extremely dated and suprisingly matched the same decor as shown in 1970s photographs dotted around lobby. 

The room we were given to start off with was a twin, when we had booked a double, and the seaview was almost non exisitent. After numerous phone calls to the very unhelpful staff on reception we were eventually moved to a room with a double bed and seaview, however the curtain over the balcony door had been ripped and stitched in countless number of places. We decided to persevere with the room for the remainder of the holiday as we were told that this was the best they had to offer. 

The swimming pool area was generally well kept but the pool itself looked like it hadn't been cleaned in a long time."

"The above says it all ,from the surly staff with the agressive attitude,whatever you do,do not complain as it spreads around the "family staff" who then treated us with distain. We are well travelled level headed middle age couple but could not recomend this accomodation to anyone. The descriptions given on their website are misleading ie sea facing room, it faces the ocean direction - not sea view due to buildings on the street in front of it,We were told that this propety had undergone exstensive renervation of which we saw verry little evidence, this is deception,yes it does have a mini gym as described but failed to tell you that it will cost you ten euroes a time to use! hope this helps you not waste your money and more importantly your valuable holiday time."

"Very disappointing! The paint on the ceiling and the walls of our room was peeling and it looked as though the room had not been decorated since the hotel was built. The furniture was out of the Ark - impossible to sit and read in the room; the door was damaged and the safety catch was broken. Certainly not the four star quality it was supposed to be."

"On arrival we were told check in was at 2pm, we were allowed to go to our rooms at 4pm.
They were rude and completely unhelpful, making you feel like you were asking for a huge personal favour when all you want is a telephone number for a local restaurant.
Towels for the pool were also a really tough matter for them to deal with. Despite being told that they would supply us with them, when we got there we found out they arrive at 3pm (just in time for sunset) and that they only get about 7 a day. Not bad for a fully booked hotel.
These peolpe were just pig ignorant or plain dumb. It was like trying to communicate with a really unfriendly brick wall."

"The appearance of the rooms and hall ways gave the impression the paint job had been done on the cheap with minimal clean up.We had an executive room which while large and quite inmpressive on first glance,on closer srcutiny left a lot to be desired.The sofa was badly stained, the bed without box spring was so hard, the curtains were off the rod,the balconey was filthy,the air conditioning did not work.I brought this to the attention of the front desk who came to the room and said they would fix things. The air conditioninmg was the biggest issue for us as it was so hot and while they tried to fix it, after two nights of over 95 dgrees in the room we checked out.None of the other issues were addressed.
After watching us pay the bill and walk past reception with our suitcases they then suggested we try another room!"

"Sadly disappointed with many aspects of our stay here. They charge 5% commission to cash Euro traveller cheques! One day our room wasnt serviced until 5pm, just when we were in the room getting ready to go out for the evening. The staff constantly upsell, good for the hotel, unpleasant for the guest! Wine glass topped up when half full, yet still charged for a full glass of wine. Fruit promised in room on arrival....still waiting for it!! Hotel only has two CD's, Cliff Richard and Tom Jones, it got a bit boring after a week!! Room not particularly clean, by my standards anyway. When my partner took ill towards the end of the holiday, I was directed to a chemist they said was a 'short walk' of 3 miles at night, on my own! Avoid their restaurant if you are vegetairan. Only told total of final account, but not shown how they came to the charges. Wrote asking the manager to justify why certain things were not up to the standard advertised, but he chose not to respond!! All in all if you are looking for a 1 star hotel in Albufeira you probably wouldnt be disappointed!!"

As always you can check it out for yourself here.

Hotel d'Inghilterra - Rome

Wow, calling your hotel 'the England' is almost certain to set alarm bells ringing.  This is a five star hotel, for that you expect five-star service; you do, don't you.  Well the brave soles who visited the England gave the hotel an average of 3.13, pretty low.  The hotel picks up a -1.87 for this lowly ranking.  Enjoy:

"MOLTO LAME is the word that comes to mind when I think of this overpriced, dingy, dark, miserable place. This is a lame hotel for old farts, with dimly lit rooms, ugly dated fixtures that give you the creeps, (not to be confused with antiques), moldy showers, thieving maids, absolutely disgusting, overpriced food and a staff that looks like the walking dead. The front desk staff is snobby and tired and knows NOTHING of customer service, or even treating you with any dignity. They did little but stare back at us blankly and tell us, "We do not know" when we asked politely what a good place for dinner would, and they never gave us accurate directions and seemed to delight in our exhaustion when we would return hours later, still not able to find the landmark they had not been able to help us find, which any town fool could have lead us to in seconds. They were amused by our problems, which I would say is the first sign of mistreated employees. The waiters at the restaurant are old and bemused by the fact that two young women would even want to eat at this crap hole, and are obviously mistreated by the management and pass it on snydely to the guests, just like the front desk taught them. As if guests are not already insulted enough by the pot of tea that costs-12 Euros, which is the same pot of tea that we are given for free in the morning, with leftover cookies from the bar that are stale and few. The food at the restaurant was truly terrible, almost so disgusting it was inedible, and so expensive we could have paid a private Mercedes to take us to the best restaurant, (if we could have found it...) ordered two bottles of nice wine, ordered five courses and bought a cheap knock off purse off the street for less than the price of the vile dinner we had. We decided the steak on the plane coming over was better, but tasted strangely similar. And to top it off, they stole my jewelry case out of the room and even when I offered a cash reward and no questions asked, they still took no responsibility and refused to give it back. You can not trust these people at this hotel!!! Also, nothing is free. Not internet, they will not call to confirm a flight for you, no WAY! They will not call a restaurant to make a reservation, they will not find a tour guide to take you to the places they refuse to tell you how to get to...NOOOOooooo, that would be too much to ask this lame place. Also, the bellman was instructed to order us a taxi, NOT a private car, for our departure to the airport at 4:30 a.m, and we are quoted 40-Euros, but when we were dropped off, the driver said it was 60 Euros, because he was a "private car", hired by the hotel, not a taxi. He told us the bell man was lying when he said he ordered us a taxi and quoted us 40 Euros. Who knows, they are all in bed together...either way, the whole thing is a rip off and just sucked. Not to mention, we paid over $400 per night just to be abused by these jerks and ripped off over and over and over again. Don't stay here, "they don't deserve customers!""

"This hotel is in major need of an overhall. The carpet is filthy. The bathroom in need of an overhall. Not worth $100 a night. Stay away."

"A nice experience last year prompted us to return to this Hotel d'Inghilterra, but this time we had the worst experience ever. No hot water one night, no water at all another night, jewelry stolen from the room, and above all a cold and dispassionate staff. This is an expensive, so called "5 star" hotel which delivers little service and lots of problems. Beware if you stay here."

"My huband and I stayed here toward the end of our honeymoon. Way overpriced for the good location considering that it is past its prime (damaged furniture in room, dirty carpets that need replacing, shower water switched from hot to cold without moving lever) and had awful concierge service (was told at 5:45 that we could not have a shirt pressed even though the service closed at 6:00 - manager very rude and unhelpful - had to actually yell at the manager to get anything done). 
Street noise audible, but that is to be expected just about anywhere in Rome. Would not come here again - not recommended."

"My wfe and I spent the last night of our honeymoon here just before flying back to the states. We were exteremely disappointed, but only because we had paid for a 5 star hotel in a 5 star neighborhood and ended up getting 2 star service. Maybe it was the room (we had the smallest in the hotel) or maybe it was the price (we got some kinda deal through our agent) but they treated us like we had some foul odor eminating from our pores.
The room was not pretty, but again it was the smallest, so I wont dwell on it (but geesh..shouldn't a 5 star hotel have a full shower door?). After giving the porter a 5 euro tip for helping with the bags he showed a visible sign of disappointment and avoided eye contact with me the rest of the day. The staff seemed stuffy and the whole time I was in the hotel, and maybe this was helped by the surroundings, I felt like I was in Paris, where I expect to be treated this way.
Anyways, not to dwell, I just wanted to give an honest warning. Obviously lots of other people have had different experiences from ours, but I must say it did put a little damper on what had otherwse been a dream honeymoon. I wouldnt even bother trying them out again."

"Our room was clean and well-appointed, although the bathroom was ridiculously small -- you could literally sit on the commode and rest your chin on the sink. The room was quite noisy from activity on the street below, which continued into the late evening. Staff were snooty and unresponsive. Lunch service in the restaurant moved at glacial speed -- we almost spent our entire trip waiting for the waiter to return to our table. The food was good, but not spectacular. We had difficulty arranging a dinner reservation at an outside restaurant because the concierge does not work on weekends! I guess they don't expect people to eat out on Saturday night. We asked the desk an hour in advance to get us a taxi, and when we arrived downstairs -- no surprise here -- there was no taxi. It was clear that they had never called for one, because one came in 20 minutes after they did place the call. We stood outside waiting for the cab that should have already been there, and then the doorman had the audacity to look at me for a tip when he opened the door for me!"

"The location was perfect, the hotel somewhat disappointing. We arrived before the normal check in time and the room was ready which was nice. The room was located on the third floor facing the street. The room was clean and attractive but there were at least 100 black flies circling over the bed. The windows and the shutters had been left open. We spent an hour killing the flies with the room service menus, leaving smashed flies all over the windows. We later discovered that the walls in the bathroom were covered with mold as was the tub area. All of this for $600 a night!"

"Sadly, the rooms were horrible, water damaged with broken furniture. The first room we were given was worse than a down-and-out bordello, including the faded red velvet chairs. We did not accept it. The final room (photos added) was better but still dark and in poor condition. The front desk staff are arrogant and unhelpful although all speak English. We did have a deal that included their full English breakfast that made the astronomical room rates palatable. Unless you need to be able to roll our of bed into Versace, stay away. So many other wonderful places in the Eternal City."

You can see the rest of the reviews here.

Oceano Copacabana Hotel - Rio

This hotel seems to be crimesville, not just the locals but also the staff.  Consequently this three star hotel received a rather low 2.00 from the reviewers.  A score of -1.00 is not cool:

"This hotel is all about your money. First they didnt honor our voucher because wife's name is Elizabeth and not Liz on the voucher, so we paid walk in rate which is much more. The cans in the mini fridge are marked on the bottom so you cant replace them with store bought, which you end up paying %400 more. Its connected next to a whore house. the staff was very unhelpful. I also was robed just outside the hotel by 2 people, one put a choke hold on me, the other put a knife up to my face/neck, and stole R$200 from me. Pay the extra $10 and stay on the Atlantic Ave. Let this be a warning, for your money and life."

"This hotel is terrible, from the minute we got there, i knew it wasnt going to be good. We got messed about by reception, changed rooms 3 times. We finally got a room( with a view of the slum apartments next door), only to find no pillows, short sheeted bed, no glasses ,dirty floor and a smell that would kill the devil himself! All of this for a lazy $200.00 per night. We couldnt leave the bathroom door open due to the stench coming from the drain. Aircon was twice as loud as the tv. Thankfully, after a few days in hell, we found an alternate place to stay. I wouldnt let my mother in law stay there, thats how bad it is."

"some employee stole $1200 dollars from my mother's locked luggage that she left in her room. The front desk personnel may be in on it since they didnt care about it at all. My mother filed a police report but the told her the money is lost for good. When we first checked in, there were tourists complaining that five pairs of expensive jeans had been stolen from their rooms. NOT A PLACE TO STAY EVER EVER IN RIO!!!!!!!!!!!"

"This hotel is one of the most outrageous rip offs I've ever experienced! 

Staff
Extremely unhelpful, unknowledgable, unfriendly, not welcoming, bad English. Example 1: We asked for a second key for the room, so both of us could go in and out. Answer: No, there is no second key. Our question: But if I want to sleep early and the person I'm sharing the room with is coming back late... Answer: Then you just have to stay up till he comes back, not our problem.
Example 2: I asked for a small piece of scotch tape to mend something. Answer: No, go to the supermarket.
Example 3: We asked if they could call a restaurant for us to make a reservation. Answer: We don't have a landline (!), call from your room.
And the list goes on and on... They were just absolutely rude, it seemed as if our presence in their hotel really disturbed them.

Hotel rooms
Catastrophe is really too nice. The hotel in general is extremely run down, old, smelly. The rooms are super small, A/C can't be regulated properly, bed sheets were dirty, as were the towels. It's only ok if you don't stay there for more than very few hours a day. But even then, the price now, during Carnival season, was around 150-200 USD a night... Absolute ripoff!!!!

Breakfast
No words. Small room, disgusting smell, milk was gone bad, food just tasted awful, no variety... I resorted to green tea and dry bread and then went out and had breakfast in a restaurant.

Location
Directly at Copacabana beach, which is not bad. However, Copacabana in general is not the nicest beach (Ipanema is much better) and a very dangerous area, especially at night. 

In total, staying at this hotel definitely spoilt my impression of Rio, which is really sad. But the way customers are treated there is just outrageous."

"Unfortunately the staff let it down. The manager was unbearably rude - he charged my Visa card that I used to reserve the booking online, before I had even arrived at the hotel! When I queried it, he started shouting over me and if it hadn't of been for my boyfriend who couldn't be bothered with a dispute, I would have walked out.
He was sharp and sour with all the guests and it seemed that every time I was walked past reception, there was a customer complaining and he was being rude.
I also got the impression the hotel was ripping you off - staff lied to me about the real cost of certain attractions and taxi fares so they could book things for us (and obviously make a fee). They were very pushy about it, too.
Oh, and you even had to pay for use of the safe!"

Want to stay there? Or maybe you just want a more balanced opinion.  Check it out here.

Grand Moov Hotel - Dubai

A four-star hotel with an average review rating of 2.91 giving this hotel an overall score of -1.09.  Pretty bad if you are expecting a four-star service.

"Dirty bathroom
only one towel in the bathroom, and its wasted.
bad television.
no enough light in the room.
the reciption ask to deposit 200 Derham to open the mini bar fridg.
no water for makin coffee and tea, there are water heater for coffee and tea but for water they ask 20 Derham.!!
disgusting smell in the all hotel area.
bad staff"

"I was charged an extra 200 uae because my flight got me in early morning [0600hrs] - the check-in time is 1400 hrs. There was no towels , the room was dirty and one of the wastebins had the last guests rubbish in it. The lights did not work and the TV was broken. I am a 77 yr old traveller and felt intimidated when I complained about the broken items. Staff were very unhelpful in fact they were rude. Food was poor. This stay spoiled what was otherwise a great holiday."

"1. Very bad location: residential area, you have to walk a bit to get taxis but only the 15th one will stop as you are in no man's land.
2.Not a four star hotel: don't believe all the blurb on the website and yes, the photos in there have been photoshopped!
3. Hard bed and not so comfy pillows
4. Rather thin walls: I did hear the couple next door!
5. Poor TV channels available, no video on demand, and even then some channels do not work.
6. Rude guys at reception: they certainly won't go out of their way to help you.
7. Over-the-top security: it's like an obsession with bouncers everywhere.
8. Very very limited breakfast: same stuffs everyday and you just don't have choice. Oh, and there's no one who will do your omelette, it's all pre-cooked.
9. There's no iron in the room and they won't even give you one, forcing you to pay to have your clothes ironed. And even then, they insist on being told hours in advance.
10. Just 500ml complimentary water for your whole stay.
11. Minibar remains empty. But the fridge works though.
12. No visitor allowed even if you have paid for a double room, no upgrades allowed either. 
13. Beware of the location of your room. Mine was about ten metres from lifts and these must be the noisiest I've ever heard. They are new all-right but they just "ting" at each level and you can hear them go up and down all night. Aaaargh!
14. They have a nightclub downstairs (filipino on top of that) but you'll have to pay to get in. And make sure you don't meet anyone there (or anywhere else) because you won't be able to taker her/him to your room. 
15. Staff can be unhelpful with wrong directions and no sense of time. 
16. No response to written feedback given when I left. 
17. No newspapers in the morning.
18. No value for money at all. 
19. Restaurant on rooftop but there are no windows to see the city. Probably because it was badly built but also because there is nothing to see in the neighbourhood apart from clothes hanging from windows of nearby flats. 
20. Work is not finished: Drill and hammer woke me up at 9 am on a Sunday..."

"Please donot stay in this hotel. Its horrible. They have 3 nightclubs and one cannot sleep in this hotel. I had to be awake till 3 am to go to sleep. 

The hotel is shown as a 3 star but trust me its extremely bad. 

Inspite of asking for an early checkin we had to wait for 2 hours to get a room.

the rooms were ok but the noise in the night was horrible. The staff at the front desk were not bothered and helpless. They themselves agreed that people were checking out because of the nightclub .

Please dont visit this hotel at any cost"

"We went to dubai for my sons 5th birthday. We'd never heard of The Grand Moov but our travel agent assured us it was exactly what we were looking for. My sons love swimming so a pool was a definite requirement. The first day we got to the hotel checked in left our luggage in our rooms and went out for dinner. Upon our return all my babys milk, food and nappies as well as anything else we'd unpacked and put on the shelf were crawling with small ants. The ants had gotten into all the milk - I had taken three times what I thought I needed to be safe as you can't get his brand in Dubai and the ants had got into all of it. The hotel said sorry 'this doesn't usually happen,must've been something you did that brought them in' I was fraught and apart from a room change we were not reimbursed any of our goods or even told where to purchase them from. The whole night was spent between me crying with frustration and taking a taxi all over dubai to find a suitable subsitute for my colic-suffering baby. We were also unable to use the pool the whole time we were there as it was on the roof top and temperatures were exceeding 40 degrees. The pool closed early and when I asked the hotel to let my sons have a swim after 6 sometime their response was 'no chance, it is illegal to swim in hotel pools in the emirates after 6???!!!' Disgusting service, I have since complained to the travel agent and make sure everytime our family go to Dubai they stay well clear of The not so Grand Moov."

"I am a British Muslim.

The info given is incorrect. This hotel is based in Old Dubai and one would not have a pleasant trip if staying here unless you fancy visiting a land of boredom. 

I am a female and was insulted by an Arab Man for absolutely no reason whilst stood watching the plasma tv screen in the lobby.

My family and I wore Muslim swimming costume attire yet the manager of hotel was v v rude and insulting stating that we were wearing normal attire and were liars and demanded us to come out of the pool.

The women receptionists were very arrogant, rude and judgmental.

There is loud music coming from upstairs and downstairs rooms. Unknown as to what they are. Assumption that they are brothels. Not a gd place to stay if you wish for peace and quiet as the music shakes floor boards until 2/3am."

"This hotel is not located at Al Riqqa road, although claimed like that. It is actually on a narrow side street close to Al Riqqa road. 

I called them to get instructions on how to reach a hotel by a rental car. Three (!) times the call hanged up. Obviously the person at the reception/switchborad did not know how to switch a call forward. Anyway, finally managed to find a person who was able to desribe their location.

The staff was not very friendly and not willing to serve the customers. E.g. there were two staff members behind the front desk and only the man served the customers, the lady just looked like bwing very, very bored. 

We had a double room with an extra bed. When we asked to get a extra towel belonging to the extra bed, also that had to be asked several times. Finally after third or fourth time a person from house keeping brought it. 

The fitted carpet in the room was dirty and the bath room ventilation did not work.

The location is a good one if you want to explore Deira. The pool at the roof is a small one and somehow a touch of unfinished painting can been seen everywhere.

They have a free carage in the basement. 

I wonder where the four-star rating comes from."

"Apart from breakfast most of the other facilities advertised by the hotel were not available.
-Hideout bar in lobby - nonexistent
-Thai village restaraunt - non existent
-Grand Moov restaraunt - only open for breakfast / lunch
-swim up pool bar - non existent
-poolside bar - was there but not open when the pool was open only from 7om onwards!!
-Jacuzzi - non existent
- Sauna - non existent
- Gymnasium - non existent."

Is this the worst hotel in the world, probably not, but it does merit a place on our list as extremely bad value.  You can read the full reviews here.

Britannia Roundhouse Hotel - Bournemouth

A hotel close to my heart after spending one night in this hell-hole.  Surprisingly, I looked it up on TripAdvisor and found it had an average score of 2.33 and is a three-star hotel.  A negative score is looming: -0.67.  Whilst, not the worst in the world, it still makes it onto the list, I'll let the reviews speak for it:

"we booked this hotel room through expedia for £75 and I didnt expect a castle for that price but this place made Faulty Towers look like The Ritz!Outside resembled a car park, rooms had paper thin walls, tap water was filthy, we were kept awake all night by the shouts from the interior windows (imagine a polo mint with your room in the inner cicle facing another room 5 foot away)Bed was rock hard, shouting staff members could be heard all night!Sleep in the kentucky fried chicken outlet accross the road if you have to, BUT DONT STAY HERE!"

"As soon as we walked in at about 7 pm we knew straight away that this was not going to be a good experience. The reception/bar area was full of what I presume were building contractors labourers or similar making a lot of noise and the whole area was full of cigarette smoke.
As we were very tired we went up to our room to be confronted by the most awful smell of damp and sewage emanating from the bathroom area. The room itself had seen better days and was in a poor state of decoration.
(tiles falling from the wall, stains on the bedclothes, very small threadbare towels etc etc). The hotel was apparantly full so a room change was not available. We therefore decided to make the best of it. Having returned to our room at 11 pm we went to bed only to be woken up at 2 am by the noise of returning guests (I use the word lightly) making a terrible noise, shouting and screaming up and down the corridors, slamming doors and generally being obnoxious. 
Then of course it had to be in the room right next to ours that at least 6 to 8 of them decided to party. The walls are paper thin and every word could be heard. Mainly the theme of their party seemed to be their past sexual conquests all dished up with very colourful language. Quite amusing if in a TV programme or not in the middle of the night. At 4 am they stopped and at last just about to fall asleep when the next lot arrived a bit further down the corridor. More shouting and yelling until we slept from exhaustion at about 5 am.
Breakfast comprised of 6 small and soggy pieces of toast, a pot of jam and a rock hard croissant with coffee which tasted as if it was a refugee from a prisoner of war camp.
We couldn't wait to get out of there.
This hotel should be removed from the Bournemouth hotel guide and is a typical example of Rip-off Britain. Having travelled the world extensively and stayed in some pretty awful hotels (Nigerian hotels come to mind) I can honestly say that this was one of the worst.
The following week we stayed in the 5 star Guadalpin hotel in Marbella with a 4 room suite for £ 109 per night!!
I am sending a copy of this to the Bournemouth Tourism Department and to the hotel itself."

"This hotel is thoroughly disappointing. The staff were rude, the rooms are run-down, and our bathroom clearly hadn't been decorated for many, many years. 

Disturbingly, the windows had no safety catches, even on our 6th floor room, and were rather dangerous if you have children. The breakfast, I suspect, had been reheated from the previous day, and I was told off by the waiter when I asked for a second cup of coffee!

It is hotels such as this one that give tourism in the UK such a bad name. Please, do not spoil your stay in Bournemouth by booking into this hotel."

"Shocking. Dirty. Disgraceful.
3 words for one hotel that should really be condemed and demolished. How the management of the chain can sleep at night when they own this place worries me.
The room we had was like other reviews have said was stuck in a time warp of 1972. The matress was the most digusting thing i have ever seen, its a good job i didnt notice til after the night we stayed there as otherwise iwould have slept on the floor.
The towels in the bathroom... well put it this way when they are cleaned they are basically boiled in acid and then dryed to remove any bugs and stains. So imagine teh kind of stain that would still be there was brownish in colour and...i dont think i need to go on.
Would never stay there again, i wouldnt even send my worst enemy there. My only comeback for taing my money to allow me to stay there was when we went for breakfast the next day we invited friends from other hotels to come and eat breakfast with us (for free) and we certainly eat up."

"This place was shocking!!!! Rather like a trip back in time to a butlins holiday camp for hen and stag parties. The room was dirty the top of the taps kept coming off, the toilet sometimes didn't flush, the curtains didn't close, the lifts were permanently out of order..... It really was absolutely shocking and the only guests appeared to be men dressed as women on their stag nights and other drunken young people. Noise until approx 5am of people returning to their rooms knocking on each others doors..... 

The staff were polite enough but for £100 a room (Saturday night) I would rather buy a rusty car to sleep in for the night. Really only suitable if you're on a stag do - it's a relationship breaker if booked for a romantic weekend away!!!!"

"What a shocker! Had a "Life on Mars" moment on viewing the room we were given. Had I had an accident and been transported back in time? Sadly not as what confronted me was a reality. So where to start...... The decor was old and tatty with paint peeling off of the windows and the sills wet and also peeling. There was mould around the bath and the paint was coming off of the ceiling. The bedspread had seen better days and was stained (I'd rather not comment on what it might have been). We opened 2 draws and the handles both came off! The rather unattractive facia panel for the light switches next tot the bed had been held on with double sided tape and fell off everytime you turned the light on or off. The net curtains were yellow and stained from the damp and were torn and frayed. Need I go on? What amazed me was that in the room there is a card that says "We are like the 4th bridge - we're always being painted!" Well they must have missed this hotel as it needs demolishing. 
The only positive I can give you is that the receptionist was excellent. I asked to have our room changed and we were "upgraded" (I use the term loosely) to a more 80s themed room in only slightly better repair than our previous offering. That said they had obviously run out of sheets as our double bed was made with single sized sheets that had been but horizontally across the bed - so they didn't reach the top or the bottom!!
Anyway back to the receptionis, despite running the reception single handedly duting a very busy period she was ever the professional and dealt with our dissatisfaction in a calm manner. I would also say that the buffet breakfast was good with all trays being regularly replenished with freshly cooked food. I know it's not the most expensive hotel but realistically they should be paying you to stay there."

"If your idea of a weekend away involves unusually shaped, dirty, noisy hotels then this is the one for you!

Unusually shaped - Round House is round, if you get an exterior facing room you will be sent straight to sleep by the mellow tones of heavy traffic. Alternatively if you'd prefer to relax in your slumber listening to other people's conversations, tvs and noisy love making go for one of the central facing rooms.

Dirty - Kim and Aggie would have a field day at this place.

If you like 1980's themed discotheques, why not follow up the experience by booking a room at this place and you'll really feel like the clock has been turned back.. dated bathroom, a window permanently open (which amplified the lovely noise from everyone else) and a corby trouser press sum up an amazingly awful place to stay when venturing down to the South Coast."

"We were absolutely disgusted with this hotel, if you could call it a hotel!! The rooms were extremely dirty along with the bathroom, and I didn't dare turn the covers down on the bed it was so bad.
The lift was out of order so we had to use the service lift, and as we were a coach party it took 3/4 hour to get to our room. We had to return through the kitchens each time to access this lift and they were dirty, food uncovered, dead bluebottles all over the floor.
We tried the dinner on the first night but couldn't eat a thing - coloured water for soup, hard potatoes, meat sitting in a fatty gravy, overcooked vegetables and it wasa bunfight - UGH!!
They didn't have any spare rooms so we checked into another hotel for our stay.
It definitely needs closing down!!"

"I took my six year old grandson here on holiday and it broke my heart to stay in such a dirty dump of a place. I was booked for the Britannia but they had no record of my booking although they had confirmed it in writing, they transferred me to the Roundhouse, what a dump! I waited in reception for over an hour to be checked in and the reason given was "a problem" with the computer they did not know which rooms were available. I asked and was "upgraded" to a superior room - it was disgusting, stinking of damp and the ceiling was covered in water penetration brown stains. The ledge outside the window was piled high with rotting cigarette ends( this a no smoking room) and beer cans. The view was of a festering back yard. I asked to be moved and was told this would take another half hour and someone would be up to show me to another room and help me with my luggage.

After a long wait a sullen faced woman opened my door and shouted in "go to 304" and vannished no help with luggage. I got to room 304 and it was locked! but a cleaner let me in and I had to ring down for a key. This room was passable apart from the filthy showerhead covered in reddish gunge.

Now for the food, although they had a very varied fancy printed children's menu the chef point blank refused to cook anything apart form beef or chicken burgers for children, and oh yes the waiting staff did not know this menu exsisted and argued with me nightly about it, it was always a problem. Suffice to say I took my custom elsewhere for evening meals.

I asked for a late check out and was told it would cost £30 which I was willing to pay, but when I went to reception to pay it I was told it would now cost £62, as you can imagine I declined.

The staff in general were sullen, unfriendly and very unhelpful apart from one or two young waiting staff, I would say 90 percent of the staff could not speak English and this presented another problem ironic really that the chain is called "Britannia" 

Although I booked and paid for the Britannia Hotel because it had a pool and Spa, I was forced to walk along a busy main road with my little grandson if i wanted to use the facillites I had paid for which was very inconvenient to say the least.

All in all this Hotel is dirty, very badly run and cannot manage even the simplest of tasks. Staff are indifferent to guests needs or requests and cannot communicate. Faulty Towers springs to mind but without the laughs. Please Please I beg you do not consider staying here even for one night.."

"We went to the buffet meal, on a monday for lunch. This was the worst food I have ever eaten! There was four choices of hot food and a salad bar. The hot meals were dry, some uncooked and tastless and the salad buffet was going soft and mouldy. I took some cucumber from the bar to find the layers underneath were gone off! I can't even say its like school dinners because this was worse. Both my partner and I had upset stomach's from eating here. 
My advice would be DO NOT EAT HERE, EVER!!!!"

"This hotel is absolutely disgusting!!!

My boyfriend and i stayed here for just one night (thank god) as an overnight break just to get away. We wish we wouldnt have bothered. The hotel was disgustingly dirty and there were stains on the duvet covers, the plug hole in the shower was black with grime and there was even grafitti written on the bedroom wall which could have quite easily been rubbed off with a rubber.

Twice during our stay the cleaner let herself in to the room whilst we were sat in the room without knocking first. The view from our window was of a skip where the chefs sat on old mattresses smoking. 

I wish we would have paid a bit more and had a better hotel as this was a complete waste of money and was undescribingly disgusting!!!!!"

"The hotel was AWFUL. The decor was ancient, the carpet was slick with grease, the running water literally stopped working on the upper floors from 1PM to 3AM so I was forced to get ready for my graduation ball in a downstairs public toilet by washing in the sink, and the sole available manager that I was able to reach (after they stopped answering the desk phone - no doubt due to the deluge of complaint calls) merely shrugged as if none of this was the hotel’s problem. What about proper pipe maintenance? No regret was expressed, nor did anyone offer a reimbursement for our troubles. Furthermore, we feel that the staff deliberately did not tell us the water would not be fixed until the middle of the night because they wanted it to be too late for us to find another hotel! I am far from a prima donna, and have stayed in some fairly tacky places, but at least in those places I was able to take a shower! Even for the low price we paid, basic hygiene standards (such as running water) should be expected. We could have stayed in the local park and gotten roughly the same accommodations."

"My boyfriend and I booked in to this hotel before reading the reviews and now wish we hadn't bothered! 

First of all, the room itself was very very old fashioned with paint peeling all over the place. The bed covers were ripped and the shower curtain had blood stains all over it. Also the toilet didn't work and the towels were dirty and smelt weird.

When we complained about the the toilet they said we can't do anything about it tonight! It wasn't until we asked for our money back that they offered to move us to a different room. The second room was a great improvement, or so we thought! It was a lot larger with a jacuzzi bath and generally a whole lot more attractive. 

When we returned to this room a few hours later we noticed that the bed was wet as there was water leaking through the ceiling! The room smelt quite strongly of damp as well. At this point instead of complaining again as it was quite late we resorted to moving the bed out of the way, Bad move! When we did this we were greeted with a collection of very undesirable things including a giant pile of toe nails! 

All in all this wasn't the relaxing hotel stay we were hoping for and was thoroughly disappointed with our stay."

"where do i start me and my partner stayed at this hotel for one night and believe me one night was too much! from the stench of fish as we arrived to the blood stained sheets i was disgusted, the wallpaper was coming off the walls the bathroom was filthy and the smell of our room was sickening. i have never seen such a dirty and disgusting hotel ever! we spent £62 for the night with breakfast i would have rather gone to a premier inn you would deffinately get better service, room service took over 30 mins for one sandwich to then find out it was frozen! the only good thing was the breakfast stay well away!!!!"

Well, we would just like to remind you at this point what this blog is all about.  This is not a hatchet job on the hotels, these are real people's opinions on their awful experiences; we're sure that the hotels in question will have taken all feedback on board and will be tirelessly working to improve the situations rather than spending their time trying to have these comments removed from the web.  If you have a bad experience you have every right to publish your comments so please use the comment section below to nominate your worst hotel and we'll see if we can add it to the list.  Thank you.

You can see the full, balanced reviews for this hotel here.

Jupiter Spa and Resort - Goa

Woa, am I excited about this one.  Generally, if you pay for two star and you get one and a half you are pretty pissed off but what if you pay for five star and you get less than two then you are really pissed.  Using our patented, trademarked and copyrighted system of rating hotels this five star resort (and spa) recieves a TripAdvisor rating of 1.83 stars from the reviewers and therefore has a whopping score of -3.17. (This used to be called the Clarion - I guess they need to change the name periodically.)

"we can only repeat and underline what fellow travellers said (details below). On top of it, about 400 US$ in cash were stolen out of our luggage as the en-suite safe did not work properly and we had to hide our money in a laundry bag - we clearly had no confidence to leave the money with the highly chaotic reception. We have been travelling in India many times before, and never experienced a theft. At the end of our stay, they also presented us with a faked invoice for drinks (faked signature, and orders we had never made) which we refused to pay. Interestingly, no further attempt was made to claim the money.

Rooms and beach facilities:
Wet walls, incredibly dirty bed-linen, missing towels, no hot water, leaking water-taps and toilet flush, water-kettle disfunctional and not replaced, ensuite safe not working, litter all around. Resort's private beach is dirty, full of litter, not enough armchairs and sun umbrellas. 

Service:
Local management and, with few exceptions, staff, are arrogant, idle and lazy. Worst are the "security guides" on the beach. Some examples: Two hours discussions before an umbrella on the beach was installed, five attempts until a taxi arrived."

"It was like living in dracula den, unhegenic, black atmosphere and the management very unfriendly, we were disgusted to see a hotel like that in goa especially that it is such a beautiful place."

"This was one of the worst hotel i have ever stayed in...everything was unorganised to the core....no basic facilities available..the rooms were stinking to the core....bathroom was leaking...the housekeeping services were pathetic.. the food was horrible...i would suggest a road side food in bombay would taste better than the food served in the hotel...
My suggestion to all is avoid this hotel as u will curse ur self for making a reservation in this hotel."

"This was the worst resort we have ever had. The rooms are stinking and old. A lot more guests were complaining. The kitchen manager was eating out of the serving bowls. Our booking was for 3 nights. We stayed one night and the next day went to Radisson a few miles down. Never again!!"

"The color of the Hotel...BLACK ! for really a black Holiday !
Terrible , overall I would say this is the worst Hotel we staid in Goa. ( 5 times )
Bad service , The room STUNK , Bad Management !"

"No drinking water was provided in the rooms. After some fights, we managed to get some and that too in the form of water in unsealed mineral water bottles. Such matter of hygiene would not go down well with the international tourist websites who look for feed backs by tourists.
No towels were provided in the rooms despite repeated requests to the General Manager.
The most objectionable were 2 episodes of the waiters filling waters in used unwashed glasses at the buffet table and no response to complaining to the management."

"I was excited to go to GOA for a weekend. Travel House told us that this was a 5 star resort. I was charged $230.00 US. I arrived and asked to see the room I was given. I WAS APPALLED! IT STUNK of mildew. Paint was chipping off the walls. I said I would not stay in that room and asked to see another. After about 6 rooms I knew I had no choice but to just stay since it was already past 6:00 pm. 
Every room stunk of mildew. There was old furniture. Paint chipping off the walls. Stains on the walls. My sheets were ripped and with stain marks. Stains in the entry way and disgusting entry rugs. Dirty windows. The place should not have a rating...that's how bad these rooms were. The mildew is enough to make someone sick. It probably should've been worth $30.00- like a RED ROOF INN... 
Then when I checked out, they tried to say that I had ordered a bottle of wine. I refused to pay and said that they should be paying me to stay in that room. "

"The Clarion does not deserve a single star rating for the terrible state of the hotel. The room given to me had a huge leakage stain on the wall. The counter was dirty. The cooking area in the open air restaurant was dirty and the service in the restaurant was a big disappointment. 

The pool is dirty. People have their meals around the pool and the food enters the water. 

The waiters are untrained and apprentices run the hotel.

STAY AWAY FROM THIS HOTEL AT ALL COSTS!!!"


Geneva Hotel & Suites - Miami

Ok, I thought I'd give America a punt; can't be worse than Magaluff, can it?  It turns out we have a new yard-stick.  The Geneva Hotel & Suites is a 2 star hotel with a woeful 1.21 rating from the reviwers at TripAdvisor.  This gives the hotel an overall score of -0.79.

Maybe Americans are just more picky than Europeans, decide for yourself:

"To keep it simple: just don't go here! The worst place I have ever seen, EVER! I've seen some bad hotels in my time, but this place is the worst. Unfriendly clerks, dirty, smelly, just a complete dump. The best thing is that I got a telephone bill of nearly $ 40 although I didn't use the phone to place a phone call once. Everytime somebody tried to call me the clerks wouldn't/couldn't connect it to my room and for that I got billed nearly 40 dollars! A bunch of crooks run this place. Just don't go here!!!!!!"

"if you want to regret ever visiting south beach stay here because they had the worst rooms and service. the clerk a old blond lady told us one price we left went to the atm and 15 minutes later it jumped 30 dollars, then after spending around $200 to get a room i went to the room and i couldn't take my shoes off because the carpet was so dirty and i didn't take my clothes off when i slept. the next day we went for breakfast came back at checkout time and they changed the lock, held our luggage captive for another $100. I hate that place and wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy."

"Luckily we haven't book it but just walked in ...to be literally attacked but some drunk clerk- can you believe it happens in Miami? ...we decided to see the room just to see how wrong can it be : horrible bathroom with all kinds of germs / disguisting bed with torn linen / no day light in a romm/ broken A/C / smelly place - anyway, after visting 40 countries and living in strange conditions I have never see sth like it in a so-called civilised world. BEWARE and don't even waiste your time !"

"We booked out room at the parisian. This was not a cheap deal but because of the location we thought it would be ok. We could not have been more wrong. I could say alot about this place, but the thing that horrifys me most is the bed bugs. We were bitten ALL over and my partner picked one out of my hair, it burst and his hand was covered in blood- dont know whos! avoid this place."

"Id rather spend the night in jail, by far the worst place i have ever steped foot in let along attempted to stay the night in this poor excuse for 4 walls and a ceiling."

"this hotel was the worst hotel ever, it was dirty and the customer service was horrible. there were many stains on the floor and blood stains on the bed sheets, mold on the shower curtains. the customer service was BAD, every time we needed assistance, they would get an attitude and take forever. I would never recommend this hotel to anyone EVER!!!"

"We had paper thin walls. We had a door that wouldn't even LATCH, let alone LOCK. We had a bathroom with a burned out bulb, so we had to shower in the dark. We had a view of a concrete wall. What more could you want? On a serious note, we decided on it to save money. Please oh please spring the extra $20-$30 per night and stay somewhere nicer. Anywhere. Don't make the same mistake I did."

"We stayed there because our original plans to stay with a friend didn't work out. Over the phone they told us the room was $250 per night. When we checked in they wanted $300. We argued and got it down to $250....still a total rip off but we booked for the whole week.

The beds were gross, uncomfortable and noisy. The window had a gap around the frame so you could always hear the outside noise. Plus the walls were paper thin. There was a buzzing noise about every 10 minutes....really annoying. The room was divided into two rooms and one room didn't have a light or a lamp. Even the room with the lamp was very dim. We checked out the next morning. We didn't even have a place to stay yet and everything else was sold out but we were not staying there another night."

"When Robbie the Robot muttered those words, you knew something terrible was about to happen. Well, if you check into this hotel, you can be sure terrible things will happen.

I booked 3 nights through one of the services where you find out where you stay after you pay your money. (NEVER AGAIN!!!) I didn't want much, just a place to crash for 3 nights and hang my hat. I could not do either in this hotel. It was so bad, I checked out after one night and ate 2 nights room rent.

When they say "walls like paper", they mean it here. I could hear just normal conversation in the rooms on each side. It might have been interesting if I could understand Spanish. People were trampling up and down the hallway all night. Either they were very loud and had very heavy shoes or the door was as thin as the walls.

The room was smaller than a jail cell and decorated about the same. 
Come to think of it, most jail cells I see in movies are decorated more than this room. At least jail prisoners can write graffiti on the walls. These were 4 bare white walls without any color, pictures or anything else. The view from the window of the door on the hotel room next door was lovely.

There was no place to put my bag other than on the floor. There was no cabinet of any kind in the bathroom to put my toiletry bag on.

But the topper was when I pulled the (very light) blanket back and saw only one sheet. I guess it was supposed to be a top sheet since it wasn't fitted. In retrospect I guess I am glad that the one blanket was so light since the AC unit barely had any effect at all. Hot as ____ all night sleeping first on a sheet with just a blanket over me and then I got so hot that I tried to sleep on the bare mattress with just the sheet over me. Obviously I did not sleep well when you add all these factors.

But I had been partying and said nothing to the front desk. I would have been brushed off as just another drunk.

Then I tried to get breakfast the next morning. According to the desk clerk when I checked in, there was breakfast between 7 and 11am. That sounded pretty good as I wanted to get up early, have a light breakfast and hit the beach before it got crowded and hot. So I struggled to the lobby at 7am to see a microwave on a counter along side a coffee pot (but no coffee). No sign of food. I asked the desk clerk about breakfast. He told me breakfast was from 8 to 10. I would have been too late for good beach time. Based on what I had seen so far, I decided I didn't want to wait an hour and find out what "breakfast" constituted. 
So I went out for breakfast and the beach, made a phone call, found another place to stay the next 2 nights, came back and checked out.

The desk clerk acted as if he had never had anyone express any concerns about the hotel before. Rather than get into a long discussion, I just checked out and told him he could try staying in my room one night if he could.

There were a couple othjer small items: No phone book. Not even a Bible it the drawer (I guess this place is even beneath the Gideons), most TV stations did not work, no pen or paper for writing, etc, etc.

Oh yeah, the floor was coming up in the bathroom.

As I said, "Warning, warning....""

Is this the worst hotel yet?  Nominate your favourite using the comments section.  And, as always you can see the actual reviews for the hotel here; someone actually gave it a "very good", 28 others disagreed.